• Notes on Cerebellum Blues, Playlists One and Two: the lost years.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012 at 10:19AM 
Welcome to my series of posts about how I got into music and songwriting and the events that ultimately led to the 2012 release of my first album. Here are the posts, so far:
1. a little bit of blood, lots of sweat, a few tears (the launch!)
2. what’s with the title?
3. beginnings
4. from high school to LA and back
5. the talent question
If you read anything that strikes a chord please let me know in the comments section or via email. As always, thank you for reading.
When I rolled back into the Bay Area from L.A. sometime in 1987, I moved in with my parents and set my cat, Jake (photo is here but you have to scroll down), on real grass for the first time in his life. He sat there frozen, completely unsure of what to do, much like I would do for the next few years.
Unlike Jake, who became supremely comfortable in his new environment, at least from my perspective, I never really found my footing. Truth be told, I had been in this somewhat suspended state since leaving college and even well before. I just really had no idea what I truly, deep down wanted to do in life besides music and I did not believe in myself as a musician so I was forever at a crossroads. It was a conundrum that haunts me to this day. But in life, sometimes the only thing to do is to try to keep moving, to hope you can either discover the right path or have it be revealed to you. So that’s what I did.
Over the next few years I was in three different bands: The Paupers (photos), The Distractions (photos) and Germano Warfare (photos). I wish I could say I was serious about all three but I was not. Sure, I learned the songs, practiced hard, did my best to look cool on stage but through it all The Doubt gnawed at me, this deeply etched belief in my being that I was not and never would be much of musical force. And so my real quest became to find a career I could live with.
In the end, while I did not exactly find a career, I did find a job I really liked and that I can honestly say changed my life more than anything else had up to that point. What was that job and what happened next? Stay tuned.
Reader Comments (3)
I posted this once before but it didn't appear on your blog. So I will try again.
Thanks for bringing Jake to us--he was a wonderful cat and he lived a happy life with us for 15 years. He met an untimely end with a coyote a few years ago and we still miss him.
I love these old photos of you on the stage with your guitar. You really came alive when you were performing. We should have gone to more of your gigs but they were awfully loud.
Jeff - I guess moms are quite alike! Mine came to a gig one time and afterwards i asked if she liked our songs. She said she didn't really know because she had her hands over her ears the whole time!
Ha! Those were the days.
Mom, I agree, Jake was one cool cat. I also completely understand your wanting to save your hearing. We weren't just loud, we were deafening. I remember having earaches and headaches for several days after gigs.
Dave, those were indeed the days.